People say weird things. It’s a fact.
In a previous post, I have provided examples of things that I never thought I would hear myself say. These have mostly come about as a result of mishearing someone, catching things out of context, or trying to explain things to small children. So in interest of trying to provide some form of amusement for folks on the internet, I’m going to do it again. Enjoy some more things I never thought I’d say.
#1) “It’s like the most disgusting set of jingle bells.”
#2) “Vanilla sherbet is just vanilla ice cream.”
#3) “Drum, drum, drum on my tum, tum, tum.”
#4) “It appears that it’s a festival of poo.”
#5) “The dinosaur chicken made her sad.”
#6) “Don’t touch the goat water!”
#7) “Why is she yelling about the meat?”
#8) “I guess the chipmunk looks like a frog.”
Okay, folks. That’s all I got. Sorry for the ridiculously short post. Other things have been taking priority lately, but I wanted to get at least something on this blog before June was gone. I’ll try to do better next month.
People develop as they grow. I’m not just talking about puberty and aging and all the weird biological stuff. People develop abilities, skills, and talents. Some stuff you learn through formal lessons and practice. Other things come naturally to some without much in the way of training. Then there are the things you suddenly become good at without even realizing it. I have become very well acquainted with the third scenario.
Perhaps this makes me some form of a Renaissance man, but one who was part of a very weak Renaissance. I will take this time to share some of these talents with you. Let me again state that these are not things I trained to do from any desire to better myself. These either came about through attempts at self-amusement or by accident. Basically, they just kind of happened over time.
Talent #1- I have found that I can detect smelly poops from another room. Be it diaper, litter box, or someone having a bad reaction to cheese I shall detect it.
Talent #2- If a popular song exists, I will turn it into a song about my cat. Possibly a song about my kids or whatever I’m currently doing. But more than likely the cat.
Talent #3- I have the ability to serve as a human sofa and jungle gym for the previously mentioned cat and children.
Talent #4- As I age, my changing appearance has informed me that I’ve developed a strange metamorphic ability. I appear to be turning into some form of hobbit wizard.
Talent #5- After years of dealing with the general public, I now have the talent to control my urge hit all stupid people with a rolled up magazine and say “Bad human” to them. This has kept me employed.
How about you folks? What strange talents have you developed? Are they a source of pride or a dark secret that you fear will make all shun you? Either way, feel free to share!