I’m going to keep this as short and to the point as I can. On the whole, this last year has been a field of werewolf poops broken up by a few patches of flowers. I look at where things are around me and my brain does explodey things.
Professionally, 2017 was one of the worst years of my life. Personally, it fluctuated between pretty good and completely heartbreaking. There were some pretty big family hurdles. The kids, my wife, and myself are doing our best to climb them. My physical and mental health took some hits but I have been taking steps to make improvements. My current job has gotten me on my feet more. I’ve started cutting back on my social media activity. Things like that.
This month I also turned 39, so the end of 2017 officially marks my road to 40. Not a big deal but I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it. I find that repeatedly singing “The Final Countdown” in my head helps quite a bit.
I don’t really do New Year’s resolutions. I just kind of have things I hope happen and try to make it so. Small goals. I want things to get a little better for my family this year, so I’m working on that. I want to explore more creative outlets. I want to do a better job of not stressing about the things I have zero control over. Will this be easy? I’m a worrier by nature so probably not. But I think if I focus that worry on important things (my wife, kids, ice cream flavors) then it will be an improvement.
If this past year has been awesome for you, I congratulate you for being in what seems to be a minority. Because based on those I’ve spoken with and personal experience, I only have one more thing to say.
Fuck 2017. Fuck it with a cactus covered in fire ants. I’m done with it as a thing.
2018. I’m watching you…
I will begin by paraphrasing one of my favorite authors, the late Terry Pratchett. I’ve found that chaos usually beats order. It’s better organized.
If you think anyone has anything all put together or figured out, you’ll eventually find that they are wrong. If anyone claims they have it all together, they are liars. Nothing really makes any sense but people pretend it does. I don’t say this to be dismal or proclaim the end of days. This is just an observation that the world doesn’t fit into the little categories people create. Overwhelming concept to think about, right?
As people, we deal with this in a variety of ways. But the must common seems to be not to think about it much at all. I certainly did that at one point. Then I went to the other extreme and started thinking about it too much. Doing that just causes a complete shutdown of anything resembling a functional human. So I don’t recommend either. For me, the only thing that seems to help is the old “one day at a time” mentality. Just deal with the 24 hour cycle you currently inhabit.
Treat people as well as you can, like how you’d want to be treated. And don’t get too pissed when you start behaving like an ass because you WILL behave like an ass. You will fuck up. It sucks but it will happen due to the simple fact that we exist. So make your mistakes and try to let them teach you something. Try and make time for the people important to you. Just remember that they are also human. Don’t make them into saints. They will fuck up too. You will be disappointed, hurt, and angry about it. You’ll have to decide if it’s something you can live with. If it isn’t, then maybe you don’t care as much as you thought. If it is, then you will move on at your own pace.
I’m not saying anything new here. These aren’t original concepts. This world is a big pile of chaos. We do our best to make sense of this. Whether it’s through our work, our families, our passions, or by writing rambling blog posts we are all trying. And all we can do is try again tomorrow.
Hi folks. Sorry for the silence.
I realize I haven’t been writing or posting things for a bit. And to be honest, I don’t really have anything pressing to say at the moment. Things have just gotten a little hectic and a bunch of unforeseen events happened at once. If you know me in person, then you probably know at least some of what has been going on. Otherwise, I can let you know a bit.
One of the changes is that I picked up a very needed part-time job. I’ve been the stay-at-home parent for the past year and it got to the point where, for both financial and personal needs, I needed to get myself employed. So I know work a few nights a week after my wife gets home from her job. So this is ultimately a good thing. The other things going on I’m not quite ready to discuss. Part of this is that, unlike when I talk about depression, they involve things happening to other people on a more direct level. Some stuff isn’t at a point where I feel comfortable putting it into words. Other events, I feel, require permission from others that I don’t have right now. Suffice to say, enough things are going on in my life right now that this blog has needed to take a back seat.
So why am I here now? I’m not vain enough to think that anyone is heartbroken at my lack of posts. I’m mainly writing this to acknowledge that I still plan to write. I’m also thinking of other writing projects that are a little different from blogging. Depending on where that leads I may be splitting focus. But for right now, I just wanted to let those who have taken the time to check out this page know that it hasn’t been forgotten. I’m gonna go eat a cookie now.