It has been a few weeks since I’ve tried to write anything. I can’t make no excuses other than it’s been hard to make myself sit down and take the time. Still, I have to admit there have been contributing factors.
My stress level has been super high, which in turn messes with controlling the depression. It can be exhausting having to fight your own brain. The external factors of working hard for not enough money, which I’m aware is a common problem, has kept it difficult to find a moment to really breath. In addition, social media has been a kind of curse for me lately. I am easily prodded by my environment and the constant craziness and level of asshole I am encountering blows my mind. Basically, the unfollow button on Facebook is my new friend. Finally, I have just been trying to survive the summer weather. Hot and humid is not my idea of fun. All of this together has made me want to go dig myself a little hole and not tell anyone where it is.
The arrival of fall is something that at least helps with one of those crap piles. The weather is slowly becoming more manageable and, for me, more pleasant. I like when we start having those autumn days when I can throw a long sleeve shirt over a t-shirt and be comfortable. No need for a coat yet. And if it’s too warm, I can lose the layer.
This is my favorite season because I really like fall things. I like when the leaves change color. I happen to enjoy apple cider and pumpkin donuts. Also, I’m a fan of both things in pie format. And next month, we come to Halloween. Probably my favorite holiday even if I don’t get to participate much anymore. My kids do. My preschooler has had her costume picked out for most of this past year. Hazel from the show “Little Charmers” is currently being crafted by my mother-in-law.
So does any of this change things for me? Not in the big scheme, I guess. Fall doesn’t add to my finances. Colorful leaves don’t make things better for my family. Apple cider doesn’t cure depression. Halloween doesn’t make people easier to deal with. But for little bits at a time, these things make me feel kind of happy. Maybe that’s what this post is about. Just to serve as a reminder that there are things that help, even if only for a little while. And I keep going. For my wife. For my kids. For myself. I keep going.