Oh, wonderful sleep. How great it it? In the immortal words of Ralph Wiggum, “Yay, sleep! That’s where I’m a Viking!”
My kids do not realize how awesome naps and having a set bedtime are. I suppose when I was little I didn’t either. I mean, when you are a little kid, sleep must just seem like something that makes you miss out on exciting stuff. You just know that the grown-ups are doing something really great while you’re stuck in bed. They’re probably eating lots of ice cream and playing with flying squirrels.
I will admit to the ice cream. No such luck with the squirrels.
The truth is, my girls are the lucky ones. Most of the time daddy is at work when it’s bedtime. He’s definitely not doing anything fun. The most fun I’m typically having is on the nights off when my wife and I try (and fail) to catch up with the DVR.
When I do finally go to bed, it usually takes me a bit to fall asleep since my brain wants to keep rehashing the day. Phoebe has inherited the habit of not falling asleep right away, but that’s usually because she’s talking to her toys or singing for an hour or so. Zoe, like her mother, falls asleep pretty quickly. Then of course, we have the cat who sleeps most of the time anyway. Lousy jerk Pepper. Rubbing her constant napping in my face. I know she’s mocking me!
One day, Phoebe and Zoe will be grown up and start to wish they could get more sleep. On that days, I will chant at them like some crazed doomsayer. “I warned you! Now it’s too late!”
At which point I imagine I will be put in a home. Where I can nap. A lot. See? I have a plan.