How often are you surprised by what comes out of your own mouth?
At least a few times a week, I say something which then causes me to just take a moment. Usually, it is either to my wife or my daughters. Sometimes, it’s to the cat. Once in a while, it will be to friends or other people. I’m not talking about stupid stuff that might make someone chase me down with a pitchfork. Mainly, these are a collection of words that I just never thought would leave me lips. They almost always sound weird out of context. Honestly, sometimes even knowing the context doesn’t help.
So for your enjoyment, I have compiled a short list of these little word gerbils. Some are from awhile back and, try as I might, I have never been able to live them down. Take from them what you will.
1) “Do not ride your sister!”
2) “There are cookies in the squirrel.”
3) “Do you have fart amnesia?”
4) “Why is there a price tag on our daughter?”
5) “Stop licking my slippers!”
6) “Maybe you have butt fleas.”
7) “Don’t make mommy sniff your foot.”
8) “So you have tuna pants now?”
9) “We appear to have a sink cat.”
10) “Now I’m covered in yogurt.”